


Monster

by memelovescaps



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Blindfolds, Bottom Erik Lehnsherr, Charles Xavier in a Wheelchair, Dom Charles Xavier/Sub Erik Lehnsherr, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Erik Lehnsherr, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Not X-Men: Dark Phoenix Compliant, Post-X-Men: Apocalypse (2016), Protective Charles Xavier, Sub Erik, Sub Erik Lehnsherr, Top Charles Xavier, very light Dom/sub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22138096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memelovescaps/pseuds/memelovescaps
Summary: Set after Apocalypse but some time before Dark Phoenix. Erik didn’t accept Charles’ offer to stay at Westchester and both parted on good terms. However, Erik’s mind isn’t calm and he can’t go past his grief, guilt and self-loathing. To the loss of his family he also adds the almost world war he’d started with En Sabah Nur, and he finds it impossible to rest. Charles sees his suffering in his mind, and Erik finally gives in and goes to the only person who can help him, but will Charles be able to give Erik what he needs?
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr & Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 123





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> I've been a fan of X-Men for years, but this is the first time I've finished and published a fic. A few notes before it:  
> \- Set before Dark Phoenix.  
> \- English is not my native language.  
> \- Not beta'ed, any mistakes are entirely mine.  
> \- Neither Erik nor Charles belong to me.  
> \- I have never written anything dom/sub before, so apologies for any mistakes. This is supposed to be very, extremely light. I tried to depict Erik in a position of need and Charles in a position of power and willingness to give him the care he needs and deserves, I hope I made that justice.
> 
> Without further ado, here it is!
> 
> \---------------------------

“ERIK!”

There was a piercing scream when Charles opened his eyes suddenly and widely, his own heart pounding in his chest and his ears ringing. It took him a while to realize that he had been awoken by his own scream.

“Charles?” came a voice from the corridor. Charles squinted and tried to focus on the door at the same time it half-opened, Hank’s face peeking through with concern written all over his face.

“Hank?”

“Are you OK?” Hank asked. Charles shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

“Yes, I… I’m sorry I woke you…” he heard more than felt his own voice shaking, and cleared his throat. He was becoming more aware of his surroundings but he still couldn’t shake the feeling of Erik in his head. He knew pain and anger were part of his friend, almost coded in his DNA, but he had never felt such grief and agony.

“What happened?” Hank asked, crossing the threshold and taking a few steps towards Charles’ bed. Charles leaned to his left and switched on the light on his bedside table. The room was suddenly lit and, despite the light being somewhat dim, he had to half-close his eyes to try to get used to it. Charles pushed himself upright until his back was resting against the bedpost and took a deep breath, it quite helped having light in the room; it seemed he could keep the dark, fear and pain at bay this way.

“It was Erik” Charles whispered at last, his voice sounding defeated and concerned “he’s… not in a good place emotionally, he…”

“Can you feel him? Even without Cerebro?” Hank’s voice interrupted, and it had a tone of astonishment.

“It shouldn’t be possible, not being so far away and without Cerebro… but he… he’s a mess, Hank. He’s projecting. I don’t even think he’s aware of it…”

He focused his eyes on the patterns of the blanket, grabbing and clutching the sheets in his hands. Hank sighed, crossing his arms in front of his chest and resting his back on Charles’ desk, next to the bed. He was looking ahead, frowning, and had a pensive look on his face.

“What will you do?” Hank asked suddenly. Charles looked up to him quizzically, but when Hank looked at him he understood the question.

“I don’t know but I have to help him… he…” Charles cleared his throat, he was even afraid of voicing it. But it was as true as daylight, and he was painfully aware of it “he needs me. Even if he doesn’t know it yet…”

Hank nodded. He may have not liked Erik or the situation, but he understood; everyone who knew them did: Charles and Erik had a tumultuous, complicated friendship; but they were bound to each other. No matter how far away they drifted, no matter how many times they disagreed, they always seemed to find a way to come back to each other.

Silence stretched until Charles felt his own exhaustion claiming him, and bid Hank good night. However, as hard as he tried, sleep didn’t come to Charles that night.

He’d parted on good terms with his long-time friend. After turning his back on En Sabah Nur, helping the X-Men and effectively defeating him, Erik had helped Jean rebuild the school. Charles had tried to convince Erik to stay, he could feel an undercurrent of dread in his mind at having to go back and find an empty, silent house in the woods. Erik had voiced his desire to stay in the US, though, and had already asked the government for a piece of land where he could build a safe haven for mutants. Eventually, Charles gave up, aware that both Erik and Charles wanted the same thing: a safe place for mutants to live and thrive in. He had his school; Erik wanted to find his own place. So, he’d let him go, knowing he would find his footing and he’d come back from his ashes, as he always did. Logan had said it once, Erik was a survivor. And yet…

He sighed and stretched in his bed. Tomorrow he would think of a plan of action.

………………………………………………..

Charles’ plan of action wasn’t necessary, though. It was the following day, late at night. All the students were already in their dorms, and Charles had taken advantage of the silence the darkness provided to go to the kitchen and brew some nice, warm tea. He didn’t know if he would feel Erik that night in his mind, and he both dreaded and hoped he would. However, he could also feel his own anxiety rising at Erik’s obvious distress, and whenever he felt like that, he always made a cup of tea. It was completely psychological, he knew, but he felt that a warm tea before bed worked wonders.

He was in the midst of pouring the tea, when before Charles could actually hear any sounds from behind him or even wonder how he’d sneaked into the house without anyone realizing it; he felt Erik’s presence in his mind.

“Hello, old friend” he whispered with a smirk on his lips. He couldn’t help it, whenever Erik was with him his heart made a jump, with the exception, perhaps, of the decade he was in prison (and to be honest, he felt he had a right to feel irksome at Erik for that). 

There was no response, though, and Charles left the kettle on the table and turned around frowning. He was sure Erik was there, and right there he was, but still silent. Then, he took in the state of the man.

He was standing on the threshold of the kitchen, dressed with a simple pair of jeans, a dark grey T-shirt and a plaid shirt over it. What concerned Charles was Erik’s stance, though. He was tense, he could tell by the rigid posture. His shoulders were square, his hands clenched in fists at his sides, and he was avoiding Charles’ stare, instead opting for looking down on the floor.

“Erik?” Charles prompted.

And then, abruptly, his mind was overwhelmed by Erik’s thoughts. He was very careful in reading people’s thoughts and, except for extraordinary circumstances, he attempted to avoid them at all costs; privacy was a very important thing for him. He checked that his mental shields were in place and indeed, they were, he was not reading Erik’s mind. He was right; the German didn’t even know he was projecting.

 _I’m sorry please forgive me I need you sorry sorry please don’t leave me don’t hate me_ Erik’s thoughts were all mingled between each other, and the sudden strength of his emotions made Charles take a sharp breath. There was an undercurrent of self-loathing and dread that almost made him want to vomit.

“Oh, Erik…”

He stretched out his hand, longing to touch his friend but couldn’t bring himself to. Erik noticed this, and it seemed that this finally broke him. In a second his knees buckled and touched the floor with a loud crack, his eyes cast down and his shoulders hunched; it was the most openly vulnerable position Charles had ever seen him.

He was almost in shock, unable to move, until he noticed that Erik was openly sobbing. His shoulders shook with each cry, his lips trying to muffle the sounds, but only just. But Charles couldn’t see his friend like that anymore.

He rolled his wheelchair until he was in front of Erik, who hadn’t moved from his kneeling position, and knowing full well what he was doing; Charles put a hand on top of Erik’s head. The doors to Erik’s mind were open to him as if a sudden wind had cracked them open by force, and Charles had to suppress a shudder. The sheer amount of loss, guilt and self-loathing Erik was keeping inside was deeply disturbing, and it brought tears to Charles’ eyes.

“Erik, my old friend…” he whispered. But Erik didn’t seem to hear him, so focused he was on his own thoughts. And they scared Charles, the deep conviction that everything was his fault; that he deserved all this pain and suffering and he deserved no better, was overwhelming. Erik honestly believed all his pain was punishment for his sins, and yet there was an undercurrent plea to all those feelings.

 _Please don’t leave I’m sorry I don’t deserve you I can’t with this anymore help me_ the string of thoughts and feelings was never-ending, and Charles knew he had to do something. He closed his eyes and moved his free hand towards his own temple, not only receiving Erik’s thoughts, but consciously getting inside his mind. He knew the moment he noticed his presence, since he emitted a low whimper of relief. It seemed Erik had missed this connection as much as he had.

 _Erik_ he thought, calling the man’s attention. He heard him gasping a shallow breath and consciously started moving his hand, caressing the back of Erik’s head, lovingly fondling his brown thick hair _Erik I’m here. You have to calm down…_

_I can’t I’m not – please Charles I can’t do this anymore, I’m sorry, I-_

_I know_ Charles tried to infuse his voice with warmth and calmness, _that’s why you came, but I’m here now. I’m right here. Just breathe._

His voice was soft and tender and yet he managed to infuse it with an undertone of authority, and he felt Erik leaning further in his presence, his shoulders immediately relaxing. That caused Charles to furrow his brow; he’d never seen Erik as responsive as he was now. However, his mind was still going at a hundred miles an hour and he knew he had to stop it.

 _I’m sorry about your family, Erik. I really am_ Charles thought, allowing his hand to travel to the man’s chin and force him to look up to him for the first time. His face was a mess, his eyes red and bulgy, his nose snotty and his face all wet. And yet, Charles was sure he was the most handsome man he’d ever laid eyes on. He made sure he blocked these thoughts, though, when he conveyed his feelings of affection to Erik through their mind connection, allowing him to see how much Charles cared for him.

He insisted when he felt Erik’s skepticism, guilt and self-loathing. He caressed Erik’s face with his thumb, wiping the tears away soothingly while he looked at him straight in the eyes. Only he knew, in the privacy of his own thoughts, how much he’d both got mad and missed this man for a whole decade and then how much he missed his presence every time their paths crossed. Letting him go was getting harder for Charles whenever he tried to convince the man to stay at Westchester and Erik refused.

“I always screw things up…” Charles realized right then that it was the first time Erik was speaking out loud, but he let him speak, aware he needed to say the words “my mother died because of me, then I did this to you” he gestured to the wheelchair “then Magda and Nina… dead because of me… and I almost got _you_ killed…” _I deserve your hatred; I deserve every bit of everyone’s hatred…_

 _I don’t hate you, Erik. Please don’t ever, ever think that_ Charles interrupted, horrified at the mere thought _even after Cuba, I was mad at you but didn’t hate you. I could never. And your family loved you._

_They should have hated me, they should have…_

He was about to retort when he fell silent, the words died in his mind. Because he could hear music in Erik’s mind, the lyrics of a song Erik seemed to feel represented by. And when he paid attention he was horrified, because he saw it was the way Erik viewed himself.

_If I told you what I was would you turn your back on me?_

_And if I seem dangerous, would you be scared?_

_I’m only a man with a chamber who’s got me,_

_I’m taking a stand to escape what’s inside me,_

_I’ve turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger_

“Oh my god, Erik…” Charles whispered, feeling his own eyes well at the impact the words had made on him. He never would have imagined Erik would view himself as a monster, as someone not worthy of love and respect and the bare minimum of humanity. He was always such a proud man, always so ready to start a fight, that he’d failed to see how reckless he’d really become, and how poorly he valued his own life. He’d been breaking to pieces in front of him and he hadn’t even seen it.

 _Don’t ever, ever think that_ Charles thought, angry at himself for letting him go so far down. _Way to go Charles_ he thought to himself, but let it slide. That was not the moment to chastise himself.

Erik was avoiding Charles’ gaze again, ashamed of himself and even ashamed of having come to Westchester “Erik, look at me. Please.”

When Erik finally gathered the courage to look up at him, Charles barely could refrain himself from leaning forward and holding the man who he loved so deeply, and who now seemed so broken. He had to say the words, not only in his mind but out loud, they had to be put out there. Erik needed to hear them.

“Never, ever think you deserve punishment for what you are. You are _not_ , and _never will be_ a monster” he inflected the negative while pointing at Erik’s temple with his finger, trying for him to see how he really was seen. He reinforced his message with mental images, memories the Professor had of Raven, Logan, Peter, the kids; all of them looking up to him.

He made sure to leave the images of both of them, the ones he held most dear in his memory, for last. Their cheerful banter, their beginnings when they were practicing in this very house, their numerous games of chess... their friendship which had survived years of separation, betrayals and arguments; only to come up stronger and better every time. He took all those images and feelings and sent them through their mental link, wrapped up in affection and respect.

“Look, neither of us here is a saint. It’s true we both may have done wrong, morally questionable or horrible things. But at heart you do it for honourable reasons. You do it because you believe you’re doing the right thing, because you believe in your cause” Charles knew this was the plain truth. That was the problem they both faced every time they disagreed: they both did what they thought was best for their fellow mutants “and you are capable of love, Erik. You loved your mother, you loved your family, you love Raven… the pain of your loss only goes to show how real and deep that love is” Erik kept silent, as if analyzing Charles’ words and memories “I told you before, and I’ll say it again, there’s good in you too. I felt it before and I feel it now. No monster has that” he finished with a sweet grin and a soft voice, all the while allowing his hand to caress Erik’s hair.

They tried to hold each other’s gazes, but Erik’s shame prevented him from holding it for long. Without warning he leaned forward and placed his head against Charles’ knees, hiding his face from view. His hands were on either side of the wheelchair, and Charles could sense Erik’s need to touch him.

Charles frowned, though. It wasn’t like Erik to be so needy. Touch was something natural to Charles, he never thought twice about friendly body contact, and with it Erik wasn’t an exception. However, despite not having any aversion, Erik had never expressed a strong desire to touch and be touched; and in fact it took him a while to get used to Charles’. So, what had changed?

Suddenly, a flash of a thought came through Charles’ mind. Erik kneeling in front of him, his eyes covered with a blindfold and his hands tied with a rope on his back, while Charles’ hands touched his hair, face, neck… that was when he realized with a shudder and a pleasant pang in his belly that Erik was shirtless. He could admire his toned torso, the muscles on his arms tense as he enjoyed Charles ministrations… Erik was at his mercy to do with him as he pleased, and for a split second it felt so good.

Almost as quickly, though, he was so horrified by his own perversion, so ashamed he could even think such things of his friend, that it took him a moment to realize that it hadn’t been his own mind who had conjured it.

“Erik?” he asked, trying to ignoring the tremble in his voice.

The older man looked at him with a question in his eyes, but when he looked at Charles’ expression, between astonishment, shame and fear; his eyes suddenly seeming to understand _exactly_ what Charles had seen, he bolted. He was standing and making for the door in a second, his body so agile that if Charles hadn’t been touching him, preventing him from moving as fast as he wanted, he would’ve left in a flash.

 _Erik wait!_ He thought, incapable of speaking. His own mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour, trying to catch up with the new information. His suspicions were confirmed when a new wave of self-loathing and shame went through Erik’s mind, leaking to him too through their mental connection.

Erik was giving him his back which was completely straight, his whole body vibrating with tension, his hands clenching and unclenching. He was desperate to leave, and yet Charles could feel the _need_ in him. And he made the decision.

 _Don’t go, please. I can help you_ he thought. He pretended not to hear Erik’s snort, and focused on his feelings of need. He rolled right behind Erik, attentive to any reaction from the German as his right hand reached to grab his hand. His reaction was evident, a violent shudder spread through him and he grabbed Charles’ hand, clutching it.

“Do you want more?” Charles asked, a hint of seduction in his voice. Erik nodded, and a small whimper escaped his lips “turn around”

He did as he was asked, almost working on autopilot. Charles felt a pang of hurt when he saw Erik’s eyes filled with tears again, and he pulled his hand, making Erik kneel the same way he had been before.

“It’s all right, Erik…” he whispered, his left hand travelling towards Erik’s face, drying up the tears with his thumb. Erik closed his eyes and rested his face against Charles’ palm, looking for more contact “I’m right here… let me help you…”

 _You can’t_ Erik thought, feelings of defeat and resignation leaking through. Charles, however, refused to believe. He’d be what Erik needed him to be.

“Show me what you want” Charles said. He smiled encouragingly when Erik looked at him with suspicion on his face. Could he really trust him? But he already knew the answer before even asking himself the question.

Taking a deep breath, Erik closed his eyes and consciously thought images of his fantasies, knowing Charles would see them too. Charles could feel the undercurrent feeling of shame, admitting what he really, _truly_ desired. There were a lot of images jumbled together in his mind: Erik kneeling in front of Charles, sometimes hand-tied and some others not; in others Erik was on Charles’ bed, completely naked and presenting himself invitingly for Charles to do as he pleased. Several dozens of fantasies, a lot of them sexual, all of them with a common thread that Charles would never associate with Erik: submission.

 _Do… do you want this?_ Charles asked through their linked minds. He tried looking at Erik in the eyes, but he had them firmly closed.

“I’m going to need you to tell me, Erik. Do you want me to do this?” Charles asked out loud. He could feel Erik’s trepidation, hope and fear; but despite these feelings, he nodded.

“Please…” he pleaded, his voice rough and deep with desire. Charles casted his eyes down for a split second and could notice the bulge under Erik’s slacks, the tension and lust by the images he’d sent him evident.

Charles took a second to analyze the situation. Erik’s head was a bit bowed but his whole countenance spoke volumes. He was kneeling in front of Charles, virtually exposing himself to him and what Charles felt like doing to him. And under all that fear, shame, guilt and self-loathing; he could feel a sense of calm, of _trust_. Erik trusted Charles to do this, to help him when he couldn’t help himself.

 _Why?_ he blurted, trying to understand. When Erik didn’t answer, he tried a different tactic. He grabbed a bit of his hair and pulled, earning a whimper from the man _what do you need right now, Erik?_

 _You_ he heard the low, rumbling voice inside his head _you with me. I… I need to touch you, I..._

His thoughts were somewhat incoherent and all over the place, but Charles grasped the gist of it. He pushed Erik’s face away from his knees, shushing when Erik let a whimper escape from his lips, and spread his legs as far as they could go. Then, he opened his arms, beckoning the man to come closer. Erik didn’t move, though, too shocked.

“Let me take care of you” Charles whispered, smiling softly and encouragingly. He put a hand on Erik’s shoulder, urging him to lean forward. And he did.

The moment their bodies collided it was like something inside Erik’s mind exploded, all his mental walls crumbling down, and he felt all his feelings at once. Fondness, hope, anger, loss, hatred, love, guilt; they were all mixed. Underlying all those, there was a deep feeling of being accepted and loved, of being able to take his guard down and trust.

“You can trust me, Erik. I’ll take care of you” Charles whispered next to his ear, infusing his words with feelings of warmth and affection.

Erik was trying to keep his breathing calm, and Charles was doing everything he could to avoid the bulge in Erik’s pants, which was gently pressing against his lower belly due to the position they were in. It took him a while to realize that perhaps he shouldn’t be avoiding the issue.

Neither of them knew how long they remained in that position, but by the time Erik started to pull away Charles had taken a decision.

“Erik” he voiced, catching his attention. When Erik looked at him Charles was left momentarily breathless; never in their long-term friendship had he seen Erik so calm, attentive and… _pliable_. That was precisely the word. Having the all-mighty Magneto literally at his feet made him realize there was a special place in hell for anyone who broke that level of trust. He had to clear his throat before speaking again.

“I want you to go to my bedroom, undress and wait for me in bed” Charles ordered. He wasn’t used to giving such clear, concise orders of this kind to anyone, but he figured Erik was and always would be an exception in his life. In every aspect of his life.

 _Will… you come too?_ Erik hadn’t even trusted his own voice to ask, but Charles could feel the fear in his mind, and his eyes didn’t lie. He smiled softly, promptly taking one of Erik’s hands and kissing it on the knuckles, infusing each of his kisses with as much sentiment as he could muster.

“I’ll be with you shortly” he answered, looking up at his face. The man’s relief was palpable through his eyes, and he quickly stood up and left.

When Erik had left Charles let out a deep puff, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. He would’ve never imagined Erik to be the kind of man who enjoyed submission, quite the opposite in fact. If anyone had ever told him he would seek precisely that, he would’ve laughed at their face. But perhaps it was because of it that it made sense. After all Erik had to make crucial, sometimes nerve-wracking decisions, and many of the outcomes were disastrous for him. So many losses were bound to have an effect on everyone, perhaps this was his way of coping.

Charles started rolling his wheelchair towards the door, but stopped, analyzing his own thoughts and feelings. He had to make sure of what they were going to do; it wouldn’t do either of them any good if he wasn’t sure that was what they both wanted. However, upon analyzing his own thoughts and feelings, the blindfold fell from his eyes: he’d been denying the hard truth in front of him for fear of losing Erik once again, and he’d been coping with loving the man from afar. Now that Erik was presenting himself to him, nevertheless, he could feel his own lust bubbling up inside of him; his own feelings of anger and sense of protection building up at seeing how much hatred Erik kept bottled up inside him. And then, he knew: he wanted to _love_ Erik in every single sense of the word.

His lips drew a wide grin, knowing now that they were doing what they were meant to do all along, and rolled towards his bedroom. When he got to his door he quickly opened it and was left speechless. Erik was on his bed, as he had told him, completely naked except for the black boxer briefs he was wearing, and on his knees. He looked up at him when he heard the door open, and Charles was met with a nervous half smile.

Charles took a deep breath while he took his time to maneuver his wheelchair around to close the door, and then to turn it back around. He then went to his wardrobe, where he kept his suits. He’d recently taken up the habit of dressing a bit more informally, so he kept the ties somewhat further away in the drawers, but he managed to find one. The thought of buying something else to use as restraint if this became a habit crossed his mind, but he kept focused on what he was doing.

He could feel Erik’s trepidation and fear in his mind, he still wasn’t sure what they were going to do was right. And yet, despite this, Charles felt it was exactly what Erik needed.

“Sit back, Erik” he commanded, still giving him his back, but he heard the rustle of the sheets meaning Erik was doing as he was told.

Charles put the old tie on his lap and rolled towards the bed, where Erik was waiting for him expectantly. He put the wheelchair next to the bed and without difficulty, since he was already used to it, pushed himself onto the bed. When he was sitting comfortably next to Erik he left the tie on his other side, and looked at the man in front of him.

Charles could feel Erik’s hard and ragged breathing, and the bulge on his lap told him he was very ready.

“Lean back” he ordered, and Erik sat down and rested his back against the bedpost. Charles moved the cushions and rearranged some of them on his back, to make him sit more comfortably, and almost casually he brushed his hand against Erik’s bulge. The man shivered, and Charles smiled knowingly.

Without warning he moved until his face was mere inches away from Erik’s. His hot breath was ticking his face, and he nuzzled his nose against his, almost lovingly.

“You are so beautiful, Erik…” he whispered, so close that his lips were touching Erik’s skin “I’ve wanted this for so long…”

Erik breathed a moan which he tried to stifle with his lips, but it still came through. Charles didn’t want that.

“Don’t control yourself” he whispered, one of his hands travelling towards Erik’s shoulders and touching the skin with the fingertips, playing with his right nipple “I want to listen to you, I want to hear that you like what I’m doing to you…”

He fell silent when he noticed Erik arching his back, so more of his body would be in contact with his hand. Erik’s hands were on the mattress, desperately grabbing the sheets with his fingers.

“What do you want, Erik?” Charles asked, his voice sounding more soft and sensual than he’d ever heard it before.

 _Hug_ Erik thought _touch._

Erik’s mind was not very eloquent right now but Charles let it pass, opting for giving him what he wanted. He rearranged his legs more comfortably before leaning forward, pressing his hands against Erik’s chest for support. Gingerly, his hands travelled from his torso towards his biceps, then moving on to his shoulders and back. Erik was tense the entire time, and Charles was about to give up thinking this wasn’t really what Erik wanted, when he noticed he was trying to keep still. He understood that, despite very much wanting to touch him, he wasn’t going to unless he was given permission. So, Charles allowed his body to fall forward until it collided with Erik’s chest, his arms on either sides of his torso.

“Touch me, Erik” he whispered against his skin, infusing his voice with a deep, sensual tone.

As soon as the words fell from his lips Erik’s strong hands grabbed him and held him tighter against his chest, so strongly that he let out a huff of surprise. But he snuggled closer to him, noticing Erik’s body heat despite being clothed himself.

Erik seemed to be thinking the same, because Charles felt in his mind a pang of desire to touch more skin, _more_ of him. So, with a sly smirk he disentangled himself from Erik momentarily, only to grab his sweater and yank it over his head in one swift movement. He was pretty self-conscious of his own body, and despite not having lost his previous athleticism entirely he knew very well he wasn’t like he once was. And yet, as soon as his jumper fell somewhere on the floor and could feel Erik’s eyes on him, he recognized Erik’s feelings of lust and desire leaking through their mental link. He looked at Erik’s eyes a bit sheepishly, but that also disappeared when they locked gazes and he could see his dark eyes blazing with desire; his pupils dilated with so much lust in them Charles momentarily lost his breath. Erik hadn’t taken his eyes off him and was drinking hungrily from the sight in front of him.

In order to compose himself he broke the eye contact, taking the tie that had been forgotten next to Erik and reaching towards him.

“I’m going to put this to cover your eyes. That way, you can focus only on what you feel I do to you, without watching me” he explained. He realized he knew next to nothing about dominance or submission in relation to sex, so he was acting purely on instinct; but having Erik’s mind open and being able to read his reactions was helping a great deal.

Erik nodded and leaned forward to make it easier for Charles to put the tie around his eyes. He made sure the knot was strong enough to hold but not so much that Erik would feel trapped; he didn’t want him to revisit painful memories. It would be a bit hard to find just the right amount of control he could exert over Erik. 

“What do you want, Erik?” he whispered with a sinuous voice once the blindfold was in place “do you want me to touch you and make you go crazy?”

“Y… yes…” Erik admitted, his voice low and rough, full of lust and desire.

“Do you want to come in my hands?”

“God… yes, Charles… please…”

Charles smirked.

“That I can do, da’ling” he answered, making sure his British accent was present when he said that last word. He’d seen in Erik’s mind that one of the things he enjoyed was listening to his voice and he had a particular thing for his accent, so different from the rough accent Erik had, caused by his native German tongue.

He noticed his own hands shaking slightly due to the nervousness he was feeling, but he didn’t want to rush things. He wanted to give Erik plenty of opportunity to escape, if this wasn’t what he desired. That’s why one of his hands outlined his jaw line, caressing it with the tip of his fingers, very, very slowly. He registered Erik’s gasp at the contact, and how he slightly arched his back. He admired Erik’s muscular torso, the biceps curling and tensing, the abdomen moving with each breath. He jumped slightly when Charles’ fingers pinched the skin with his thumb and forefinger, and was smiling, excited.

His mouth was half-open and his lips were so inviting that Charles couldn’t avoid them any longer. He moved again close to Erik, feeling his body heat come off him, and putting his hands on his shoulders for support he leaned until his face was inches away from him again.

He looked at Erik’s lips for a second, trepidation in both their minds. He observed Erik taking ragged breaths, and instinctively his tongue came out to lick his lower lip. That tongue gently disappearing into Erik’s mouth broke the few defenses Charles had and with no warning, he closed the distance between them and captured Erik’s lips with his own, feeling them warm against his. His mind exploded with his own feelings and sensations mixed together with Erik’s, and he could feel the man’s surprise and delight at the kiss. He could feel how he was returning the kiss avidly, as if there was nothing else he’d wanted to be doing right now; and that feeling was what Erik seemed to be looking for.

After they broke the kiss, both panting and with beads of sweat on their foreheads, Charles’ hand descended even lower. Erik moaned when Charles’ fingers found one of his nipples and started to gently play with it, rubbing and pinching until Erik was jerking under his hands, desperate for more contact. Charles smirked cunningly and a split second later his lips were catching the right nipple, which made Erik gasp for air at the surprise. The gasp soon turned into moans and low whimpers while Charles worked with his lips, teeth and tongue until the nipple was hard enough. He gave it a gentle squeeze between his teeth, which aroused a low groan from Erik, before changing position and attacking the other nipple. He wanted to slowly overwhelm Erik, so instead of focusing only on the left nipple, he centered his mouth on that one while his thumb and index finger worked with the already hard right nipple until both were hard and a slight shade of pink. When he had finished with the nipples Erik was panting hard, his skin with a hint of sweat, and Charles noticed he was grabbing the sheets between his fingers.

But Charles hadn’t forgotten why they were here. Erik didn’t need a one-night casual sex, what he really needed was to feel appreciated, needed, loved. And Charles could give him that, _wanted_ to give him that, to make Erik see how Charles felt whenever he was with him. What he had been feeling for years. He took a deep breath and leaned forward towards Erik’s face, to be able to speak to him close to his ear, almost whispering.

“This is what you make me do, Erik” Charles mumbled in a low, rough voice, which made Erik jump with arousal “this is how you affect me. This is how I’m left every time you come into my life and then, as suddenly as you appear, just vanish…”

He gently took one of Erik’s hands and took it towards his own trousers, allowing Erik to feel his own evident, albeit half-erect, arousal.

 _Can you…?_ Erik seemed to ask, before cutting himself. Charles smiled softly.

 _Yes_ he answered gently, knowing Erik had stopped himself not wanting him to revisit bad memories. But they were creating new pleasant ones, and Charles wasn’t about to give them up _it took some time to get adjusted and I can’t come some of the times. But I can still feel it. This is what I’ve wanted to do with you for years_ he sent through their mental bond towards Erik. He then sent him mental images of what he’d imagined himself doing with Erik, images which sent the German into an incoherent mess of feelings and scattered thoughts. His mind didn’t make much sense now, but he seemed to grasp what Charles was telling him. Erik’s hand gently patted Charles’ bulge in his trousers while moaning and biting his lower lip, but other than that he didn’t take things further. It would be up to Charles to do so.

Without any other word the Professor continued his ministrations, going back to Erik’s skin and going lower and lower. He pinched, bit, licked, kissed and caressed the skin of his chest and abdomen, playing with his tongue in the belly button and allowing Erik to get more turned on by the second.

He took the elastic band of Erik’s boxer briefs between his teeth and yanked at it, allowing it to bounce back and slap against his skin, earning a gasp and a shudder from Erik. The poor man was evidently aroused, and Charles took pity on him by grabbing the elastic band with his two hands and removing the piece of clothing with Erik’s help, who had arched his lower body enough for Charles to bring it down until it was around his ankles. In a show of more coherence than the Professor gave him credit for, Erik raised his legs enough for him to be able to take one foot out of the boxer briefs, and with the other he was able to throw them somewhere on the floor.

Charles smirked at Erik’s action, even though the man couldn’t see it, and focused his attention on Erik’s bulge. His penis was completely erect, giving a clear indication of what he desired and how close he already was, and was panting. He was once again grabbing the sheets between his fingers, his chest heaving with the erratic breaths, and he was absolutely delicious.

He couldn’t wait any longer and wanting to surprise Erik, he grabbed the base of the penis, gently tangling the tip of his fingers with pubic hair; before he unexpectedly engulfed the entire length of it in one swift movement. Charles tried to sit very still, trying to control his gag reflex while he heard Erik gasping loudly with surprise. Once he was sure he wouldn’t choke with Erik’s glans almost at the back of his throat he closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy the sensations that were spreading through his body. He licked the tip of Erik’s shaft, his tongue playing with the obviously circumcised glans while he heard Erik’s moans and groans. One of Erik’s hands found his head and while there was no hair he could grab, through the open mental channel he managed to tell Charles what he needed. And Charles, always the care-giver, obliged.

He started to move his lips upwards, almost until he had completely withdrawn, only to fall forward until his lips touched his fingers and the pubic hair at the base of the shaft. He did this a few times in a row, focusing his efforts on not choking, while he could feel in his head an undercurrent of excitement and arousal from himself and from Erik. The German was tossing and jerking under Charles, getting desperate for more and more contact, and he started to thrust his pelvis up and down, speeding it up after a few thrusts. Charles tried to find a steady rhythm between his own movement of his lips and Erik’s thrusts, noticing how he was getting tenser and tenser. He was having a hard time keeping track of Erik’s thoughts and feelings, since he was also getting aroused and couldn’t help but move his upper body along with Erik’s hips with each thrust. He continued with his lips and tongue, tasting the bitter taste of Erik’s precum until, with a final pelvis thrust, Erik grew suddenly very still, he gasped and his back arched.

“BACK!” Erik screamed, and Charles barely had time to jump back before Erik tensed and the first spurt of cum shot from his penis. After the first spurt he smirked cunningly and leaning forward he grabbed the base of the shaft, directing it to his open mouth just as another spurt of cum appeared. He avidly drank the whole of it while Erik was surfing the waves of his orgasm, licking with his tongue until no drop was left around the shaft.

By the time he’d finished Erik was back against the pillows, completely relaxed and spent. It was the first time in a long time that Charles had seen him so calmed and content, his lips were drawing a soft grin and his cheeks still somewhat blushed; he seemed deliciously spent.

Charles smiled and reached until he planted a sweet, long and slow kiss on Erik’s lips, to which Erik responded with slow movements.

“Welcome back” Charles whispered with a soft smile on his lips “everything OK there?”

 _Yes. God, yes_ Erik’s mind was a mixture of feelings and thoughts, but Charles felt relief at noticing a change in the undercurrent of Erik’s thoughts. There was still guilt and self-hate, yes, that would take a long time to disappear completely, if it ever did. But right now his mind was calm, content. Happy.

Charles smiled, taking Erik’s blindfold from his eyes so he could see again. When the tie fell and Erik opened his eyes they were shining brighter than the moon, and he beamed with glee at Charles; so happy that Charles leaned again and pressed a kiss against his lips once again.

When the kiss ended with a sloppy, slow peck Charles rested his hand against Erik’s chest so that he could reach his top drawer on the nightstand, producing a white cloth he used to more or less clean up the mess Erik had made.

“What are you doing?” Erik asked, his eyebrow rising in confusion.

“Taking care of you, as I said I would” Charles answered as he continued to pass the cloth around Erik’s abdomen. He knew there was nothing to be done about Erik’s jeans so he cleaned them as best as he could; knowing they would have to be put in the wash regardless.

Erik, however, didn’t seem to care about that. With long, elegant fingers he grabbed the white cloth and threw it to the floor, not caring where it landed. Then, with gentle, slow movements his fingers travelled towards Charles’ shoulders, descending towards his hips until he grabbed and pulled him, maneuvering him until he was side-sitting on his lap.

“Erik!” Charles half-admonished half-laughed, mainly because of how surprised he was, but his friend only smirked. Charles could feel what Erik wanted and sighing he gave it to him, passing his arms around his torso while allowing him to rest his forehead against his shoulder. Erik took a couple of deep breaths, his fingers gently grabbing him on his back while rubbing his forehead against his shoulder, like he wanted to impregnate himself with Charles’ scent or wanted to memorize it. Perhaps both.

Charles had decided to keep himself in Erik’s mind from the beginning, and now he could feel how the man felt. There was something there, something that was bothering him, and he wanted Erik to confront him.

“Out with it, my friend” Charles told him with a sweet voice. Erik moved his forehead away from Charles’ shoulder momentarily to look at him in the eyes, only to slightly blush and return to the previous position, sighing “come on Erik. Tell me”

“I… I’m sorry about this, Charles…” Erik sighed. He couldn’t feel guilty, not entirely, the pheromones were still acting up and he still could feel the after effects of his orgasm. And yet, there was something that was tightening his heart “I… I don’t know why I asked this of you, I don’t know why you put up with me, I don’t…”

“Okay stop” Charles voice sounded authoritative and it made Erik’s rambling stop immediately _I will not have you speaking about yourself like that._

He sensed the confusion in Erik’s mind, and changed his serious expression for a much kinder, more pleasant one. He relaxed his muscles and gently grabbed Erik by the shoulder, squeezing tightly.

“Erik… you are one of the most marvelous people I’ve ever known. You are brilliant, a good friend despite our differences in values and ideas” Charles said. Then he steeled himself “and I love you for exactly who you are”

He knew he was crossing an unspoken boundary by stating what he felt so bluntly, they had spent decades dancing around the topic and their feelings but they had never discussed them so openly. Until now. He carefully held up his mental shields, careful not to leak anything onto Erik’s mind until he was sure what the other man wanted or felt. He didn’t want to access his mind and burden him with his own feelings if he wasn’t up to it. Erik, however, sighed and then looked at Charles in the eyes. What he was looking for Charles didn’t know, but a second later Erik’s hand was on Charles’ face. The telepath allowed him to fondle, almost brush Charles’ perfect shaven face with the back of his index finger. Erik was so close Charles could smell his scent, and took a deep breath in order to memorize it.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, old friend” Erik whispered while he leaned forward and put their foreheads together. Their breaths mingled in the minimal space between them, Charles still had his hand on Erik’s shoulder and had to use it to balance himself, his face blushing slightly with the sudden heat he felt. Not even a split second later he felt Erik in his mind.

 _Do it_ Erik was asking. Charles looked at him in the eyes, he had a pleading gaze _Charles. Please…_

And Charles could do nothing else but oblige. He gingerly nuzzled Erik’s nose with his own, in a gentle caress, before capturing his lips with his own. The kiss was slow, deep, languid, and Charles decided to take the risk. He carefully released the mental barriers he’d been holding, and as soon as he did so, his powers did the rest. He could feel the surprise, trepidation, eagerness and arousal at the images he was sending Erik. He felt how humbled Erik felt when he saw memories of him, sitting down in front of a chess board, or watching the news on TV where he appeared. At that moment Erik realized Charles had been missing him every single day of his life since that fateful day in Cuba, where their paths diverged.

 _No more hiding, and no more lying_ Erik pleaded when the mental images finished and he could focus his eyes on Charles. The Professor nodded once, agreeing.

Despite not wanting to move from their position Charles could feel Erik’s exhaustion, so he urged him to move a bit to his side so that he could lie back against the pillows. Erik took the duvet, which had been thrown to the floor, and used it to cover both their bodies, before the moved closer to Charles, snuggling comfortably against his side. Charles sighed, deeply, closing his eyes.

“Will you stay, Erik? This time?” Charles asked a while later, his voice a mere whisper. He almost didn’t ask it, he couldn’t bear to have his heart punched again by Erik leaving, by seeing that this had changed nothing. That Erik would continue to leave him behind.

“Forever?” Erik asked, and Charles could sense Erik’s fear at being trapped, at being held against his own will. He couldn’t ask that of him.

“No, of course not. I’d never do that” Charles answered, and he pretended not to notice the slight sigh of relief that escaped Erik’s lips “I know you’ll want to leave and do things, you’re Magneto for crying out loud. What I mean is… when what you’re doing is over; when it’s time to go home… you come home. To me”

Charles caught Erik’s incredulous smirk, right before Erik dissolved in giggles. Charles was watching him, watching Erik’s bright eyes looking at him.

“For a telepath sometimes you can be very thick, old friend” Erik said once he could control his giggles, but his eyes were still glowing with mirth “you don’t realize… I already do…”

Charles smiled before capturing Erik’s lips with his own, again, not having enough of Erik’s kisses. And who cared if Erik disappeared again? Charles knew he’d come back, he always would. That was enough for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and reviews are very welcome!


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